Building a real network is like growing a garden. Most people just collect business cards until their pockets are full, but they forget the faces behind the names.
They add people on LinkedIn, but nothing ever happens. Those aren’t connections.
They are just names on a screen.
If you want to build a career that lasts, you need to stop collecting people and start building friendships. Here is how to do it simply.
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1. It’s a Relationship, Not a Sale
A contact is someone you only talk to when you need a favor. That feels cold. A connection is a real relationship. It’s built on trust and helping each other out.
Today, even AI looks at who you know. When people search for experts, the internet looks at who is talking about you. Your friends and peers are the ones who prove you know your stuff.
2. Pick Your “Nine”
Don’t try to talk to 500 people. It’s too much work. Use the Power of Three instead. Find:
- Three people you look up to.
- Three people who do exactly what you do.
- Three people just starting out who have great ideas.
Focus on these nine people. It’s much better than shouting into a crowd.
3. Give First
The biggest mistake is asking for a job or a favor right away. Instead, try to help them first. You don’t need money to do this:
- Share a link: Send them a podcast or article they might like.
- Introduce people: If two of your friends can help each other, connect them.
- Leave a comment: Write something nice on their latest post.
- Spend a few minutes every day just being helpful. It goes a long way.
4. How to Reach Out
Stop saying, “I’d love to pick your brain.” It sounds like a chore. Be specific instead.
Don’t say: “I want to learn about your job.”
Do say: “I loved your post about [Topic]. It made me think differently about [Issue]. How did you handle that change?”
If you are at an event and feel shy, find the person near the food. Ask them, “Who is the most interesting person you’ve met today?” They will usually introduce you to someone new.
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5. Don’t Let the Connection Die
A new friendship is like a plant. If you don’t water it, it dies.
Next Day: Send a quick “thank you” note. Mention something specific you talked about.
Next Week: Send them a helpful link or “like” their post.
Every Few Months: Just say hi. Ask how their big project is going. No strings attached.
6. You Have Plenty to Offer
Don’t feel like you’re bothering people. If you’re being kind, you’re making their day better.
If you’re new to your job, you might think you have nothing to offer an expert. That’s not true. You have new ideas and you know what younger people are thinking. Experts actually want to hear those things.
The Bottom Line
Networking isn’t about being the loudest person. It’s about being the most helpful. If you focus on being a good friend to a few people, your career will grow naturally.
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